I think I might be going to blog about writing the book I’m about to begin. And if I am, here’s the first of these blogs. (If I’m not, here’s a one-off.)
Maybe it will be about process. Maybe it will be about the book itself. Maybe it will be about me and writing. It’s my 17th novel, at this stage, while it’s still unwritten, I’m as interested in the process of getting it started, getting it going, as I am of finding out what it is, what the book is. Writing the book, the first draft at least, will show me what it is – and, no doubt, quite a lot of what it is not.
Tomorrow morning I’m starting my new book. I’ve been working towards starting one of two new books for a few months and now I know which one I’m starting and so I am starting it. I am therefore interested (do I remember how to do this?), excited (oh yeah, this, I get to sit at home some of the time and do THIS!), and nervous. The night before a writing day I get nervous.
About four years ago I recognised that nervous for what it is – it’s stage fright. I know what stage fright is, I’ve been an actor, still perform sometimes, make speeches/keynotes quite a lot for Fun Palaces, I know what stage fright feels like. And this fizzy, uncertain, tense, nervous-and-going-ahead-anyway feeling is that. As I no longer write every day (because I work on Fun Palaces about half of my time) I’m more clear about this feeling – I realised it often comes the night before a full day or half day free to write. And when I realised that, I remembered I have ALWAYS felt this way about writing – about to begin (a book, a chapter, a paragraph, a sentence), not sure what it will be like, uncertain where it’s going – and beginning anyway.
The pic is to remind me I’ve done it before, even if I have no idea how to do it this time. I have no idea how to do it this time – this is a new book. It will have a different process. Beginning anyway …
ps – if you have a book you’ve been putting off starting, why not start now? You can do it along with me. I’m aiming to write about 3000 words a week, a balance between 1000 words a day on my non Fun Palaces days, or 500 words a day most days. That means I’ll have a first draft done in 9-10 months – which means we can all spend next summer editing and making it better!
pps – it will really help if you have some idea of your story! I’ve already done quite a lot of work on a proposal for this one, worked out a few of the key characters, a few main plot points, though I also know it will change as I get into the story.
Not Writing But Blogging 
How fearless and bold. It’s the … and do it anyway… bit I lack. You inspire and intimidate me in equal measure. No excuses then.
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thank you Gillian. I’m fortunate (I think, though it can be pretty exhausting!) to have a fairly strong ‘and do it anyway’ reserve – it’s been both useful (keeping on working through cancer recoveries) and burdensome (keeping on working through cancer recoveries!). good luck with the do it/don’t do it choice. it’s def a choice.
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I had stage fright about writing for 50 years. When the time was finally available I became a barrister instead. Talk about extreme avoidance.! Unexpected enthusiastic encouragement when I had pretty much abandoned the dream set me off like a cannon. I’m finishing my third screenplay this year. I can’t turn it off. I can’t wait to start writing each project .
PS I was useless in court . Ulcer making stage fright preceding freezing and brain fog.
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Hi Stella, am on holiday at the moment and plan to start writing my next book when I get home. Am itching to get going so am spending the holiday researching and making notes. Am both petrified and excited about what’s to come. So, um, Hi over there *waves* 👋 I’m a bit behind you but I’m on the same path!
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glad it’s finally come to you Ashley and now you can’t stop! are you only keen on starting each project or is it working all the way through (and then rewriting!) that excites you too? many people are very keen on starting – fewer on keeping going!
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same path is great Ann. I won’t be surprised when you overtake me!
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Good luck tomorrow. I hope you get a good start, and I hope too that you do the blogging (unless it turns into a distraction). I’d love to follow the unfolding of your story. Writing is mysterious. I tried writing imaginatively when I was young but it wasn’t any good, I think now because I was always in control of it, so it was an exercise not a reality.
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hi Francois, I wrote the blog last night, so today was the writing day – 2522 words! (written in longhand, not my usual way, and then typed up adding more/re-forming).
And yes, I totally think letting go control (not one of my favourite things, but one I am practicing!) is vital for letting the story through …
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What a start! Fantastic. But it’s a high bar to set. Alan Bennett once said something about Philip Larkins’ poem that begins “They fuck you up your mum and dad…’ Bennett said that was okay as a start in life if you wanted to be a poet. But then, if you do want to be a poet, he goes on, and they don’t fuck you up, well then you’re really fucked up. I remembered that because of the difficulty of knowing whether it’s better to make a good start and worry about not keeping the pace or to make a slow start and feel you’re getting better. The wise answer is not thinking that today is defined by yesterday, of course … sorry, ignore my wittering!
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hah, oh I know I won’t keep up that pace. beginnings are fast (for me, usually) ends are too fast (always) and the middle bit takes FOREVER. it is quite possible that I will have reached the taking-forever bit by Wednesday (after a Fun Palaces day tomorrow). it did feel good to start though. x
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Some time before this post, I’d decided that my anxiety, my near-nausea when writing, was not caused by my new computer glasses, but by writing itself—not always, but consistently enough. I have stage fright, at least at the beginning of work presentations, teaching, and pitching at writers’s conferences. So thank you! I do believe it’s writing anxiety.
I will try to catch up with your project challenge—I think it would be great for me to just write, and not revise and edit constantly. I am an emerging writer (from some goo, I suppose) and am trying to get what would be my debut novel (an Irish historical one with lesbian main characters) published, working with the great Irish group, writing.ie/The Inkwell Group.
I have started a new project, but it will be on the sidelines until I’m past this stage, which is submitting the completed novel to agents and publishers. After that, I’ll try to work to your pace with the new project. I’m sure I can’t keep up with your wonderful quality at pace, let alone the speed, but it will be a good experiment for me to try. So on to September for my start!
I finished London Lies Beneath last week, and I still miss them, all of them—in fact, your novel contained everything that I love in a novel. A wonderful novel, Stella, thank you. I will tune in when I start aligning my new project’s word count with yours next month.
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oh Constance, thank yu so much for this. I am so glad you loved LLB (I think it’s my best book, it may always be my best book, much as I’m proud of what else I’ve doe and what I’m doing now). and believe me, whatever ‘quality’ there is comes in the edit. And the next edit and the next. For me (and every writer is different) the trick is to get the story out. That’s the first draft, and (sometimes) the easiest bit. The rest of it is the work of making the story clear and real and shining. And that almost always comes AFTER the first draft. So you may be right, it may be time to stop editing and start writing. Go for it!
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I intend to follow your lead, because so far writing for me has been rewriting, editing, and being edited by pros: repeat. Not just going for it (am I afraid of that? I think so). My version of writing may have stymied the flow, stopped me from really accessing my characters. It’s all a process, but I will try to follow your process and not the one I’ve followed. LLB struck me in my chest, in my heart, which happens to me when I write a really true sentence, but your entire novel did that for me, which is what I’m working toward. I’m hooked, Stella. “Quality comes in the edit.” Thank you. I will tune in when I start.
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go for it!
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It’s so helpful to read that you feel these things. I was talking to my wife this holiday about fear and how, despite how I appear on the outside and how I ‘behave’, it is the most dominant thing in my life and actually getting worse. She was shocked, and we have been together for nearly 12 years without her realising! I wrote the first sentence of a book when I was 17, and there it stopped…I am 52 now….hmmmmm. (I also wanted a tattoo when I was 17 and didn’t get my first one until I was 51 so clearly I am a slow burner lol)
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I’m glad you find it helpful. I’m always helped by others’ honesty about their anxieties/concerns/fears. so if you’ve done the tattoo, now it’s time to do the book??!!
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we’ll see 🙂
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Tuning in now because I started writing a new novel—I’m just writing the story, not editing, revising or fiddling (too much) as I go. I am aiming for 3000 words per week and will tune in again. I’ve never written fiction this way before, but have already found that it helps getting my blog posts (constancegemmett.com) finished, so why not fiction? Where does your research for historical fiction fit though, Stella? Ahead of the writing, during the writing or during the editing? If you would tell me your process, I’d be most appreciative. Your stage fright post has been very helpful in several ways—thank you.
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hi Constance, when I’ve written historical fiction I’ve tended to do the research partly before – general overview, and then as I go – for specifics. for the Theodora books I did a huge amount of work beforehand and in many ways it was too much, I had to leave it all behind to find the character and the narrative – little of which is about the plot (ie things that happen) and most of which is about the story (ie what it’s really about) – and that’s the stuff that (for me at least) shows itself in the writing. mind you – I don’t have one particular process either. Every book is very much its own new thing and needs a new process. hope that’s useful. and good luck!
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Very useful indeed—about doing a lot of research ahead of the writing and then having to go back and find the character and the narrative (what it’s about!)—is exactly what I experienced with the last novel. With this new novel, I have a general overview of the time period and a better one of the setting, so I’m going with just writing the story, the characters and the narrative, then going back for everything. Thank you so much Stella—you are very generous and I appreciate it.
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very welcome Constance.
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I’m at this stage with my second novel. My goal is to get a chapter written by the end of the month. Woohoo!
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go for it!!
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Its a great book
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