Singing in the Dark Times
what it did for me (as with every other Devoted and Disgruntled, and again this one) :

made me delighted I’d joined twitter two weeks earlier #DandD6
reminded me that there are people I Iove making work with
reminded me there are people I would love to make work with (and maybe I should just tell them!)
showed me, again, that there are many young people who ARE political and engaged and involved
reminded me that I can be useful to others, and that I know some stuff I can share (and that middle aged is sometimes an elder and sometimes a younger and a good place to be)
much as I do believe “whoever comes are the right people”, I still would have loved to have seen more ‘mainstream’ theatre practitioners (directors, playwrights, actors, technicians), building-runners, artistic & executive directors etc there. and the theatre academics – where are the theatre academics? it’s ALL our theatre.
gave me kisses and smiles across and within a circle, quizzical looks and uncertainties too. all good.
reminded me that, as much as I love the conversations I’m already engaged in, there are many others I would also like to engage with, as a listener/audience as well as a maker
showed me, again, that the people I’ve been working with for many years, have even more great things to come and to give
enthused me about the Chaosbaby Project (born at DandD5) and OUR ability to bring it to reality and reminded me too about how much I’m enjoying the process of making it in Open Space, the taking of time, the getting there. pilgrimages where the end point is just one part of the process.
reminded me how much I like working with new people even when I ‘hate’ (= ‘am scared of’ strangers) and also the comfort and ease of being part of something where I do know many there.
reminded me what a joy it is to invite someone to DandD and have them turn up and get it. (thank you Rachel).
showed me that while ‘whoever comes’ is true, ‘whoever wants to be there and can’t’, is also relevant, and we can make wider unions through our live internet connections (again, yay Twitter).
reminded me of our gratitude to Open Space, Harrison Owen for the first sharing, and Phelim McDermott and Improbable for the continued sharing.
reminded me that I need to take part to feel part of, to engage to feel engaged, and also that it’s fine to butterfly.
gave me a chance to chant with other SGI buddhists, in the Open Space, sharing our chanting in the dark times.
showed us that “Tea and a Biscuit With the Gays” (©Angela Clerkin 2011) is a fine idea.
revealed that the elephant in the room may be a manta ray.
reminded me that every time I spend a lot of energy working on my theatre work and desires, it feeds my book-writing work and desires. they are utterly connected and work together, beneath, in the dreaming, and I love that.
reminded me that it’s all in the dreaming
reminded me that editing (my novels), rehearsing (our theatre), making (anything?) in Open Space is way more enjoyable – for me – than not.

reminded me that I can have to leave the space I want to be in, still remain attached to it, and also be the wife/sister-in-law/aunt/daughter-in-law I need to be when that’s needed more. that everything else goes on and we’re part of it.

I hadn’t forgotten any of this in the intervening 362 days, but I value the way the annual DandD gives me an opportunity to bring these awarenesses into clarity again. as always.

all good. back to the book.