I’ve been talking about this on a private thread, and realised I’m so grumpy about it, I wanted to share more widely. But first a question – why do Americans (NZers, Australians, SPANISH!) even care? Unlike us you don’t get a holiday, why would it matter to you? (I don’t get a holiday either, deadlines don’t care about made-up national holidays and neither do I.)
I’ve been trying to work out why all the fuss is making me so grumpy and it’s about a lot of things :
Yesterday’s Blue Peter full of references to brides and grooms and failing to acknowledge, even though it’s been legal here for more than five years, that there are also same-sex couples getting married in Britain, all over the world, assuring those kids who happen to be gay that they are, as they no doubt already suspect, not included.
The insistence on ‘fairy tale’, the belief that a wedding is an ending rather than a beginning, the idea that a girl ‘getting her man’ is the best a bright young woman can aim for.
There’s also some serious stupidity that shows very clearly the state of modern Britain – the fact that diplomats from Saudi Arabia, Iran, Syria and North Korea have been invited and not ex-PMs Blair and Brown underlines exactly that it’s all about protocol, has nothing to do with the ‘life of the nation’, and is as outdated and absurd as it is dangerous.
And of course, inherited titles, by their very nature, are simply silly. A baby is a baby is a baby, the family they’re born into is a matter of luck.
Basically, these are two quite young people getting married. Of course I wish them well, it’s a shame that after weeks of stunning weather, rain is forecast on their wedding day – no-one wants rain on their wedding day, it plays havoc with the photos and Alanis Morrisette thinks it’s ironic. (She’s wrong, but you knew that, right?) But I seriously doubt that anyone’s relationship can be helped by the gawping of millions of strangers and turning what should be a semi-public (for friends and family), essentially private (between the couple), occasion into a sideshow. I find the press interest ghastly and am particularly annoyed that we’re spending an enormous amount on security and a national ‘holiday’ (always bad for the economy) when we’re simultaneously being told cuts are needed everywhere and basic things – like libraries! – can’t be funded.
Sigh. The problem is, one can’t say these things without sounding like a curmudgeon – I’m all for street parties, and neighbours getting on with each other, our local is having a party and if I didn’t have a deadline I’d be there – NOT to celebrate the wedding of strangers, but to share a pleasant morning with my neighbours. With any luck I’ll make it in time for the BBQ and the paella they’re making in the garden. The reflected joy of others is always a nice thing. And I love London and think my city does these things very well, it’s a great backdrop for a good show. But this isn’t a fairytale romance, it’s some real people. And we’re not a nation who care much about this royal family, we certainly don’t believe they are there by divine right (we’ve watched The Tudors too closely to do that!), we’re just a nation who think it’s slightly less offensive than the over-the-top respect accorded whoever happens to be “Mister’ President at the time – ie, we’ve not found a system we like much better.
So, come tomorrow morning, I’ll be working. I’ll also, very likely, have the BBC online in the corner of my screen, not least so I can check out whatever ghastly dress they’ve forced her into – there’s not a great track record of ‘royal’ wedding dresses and unlike the rest of us she doesn’t have the luxury of choosing any design/designer she’d like. It will most certainly be picked over by fashionistas and royal-lovers for decades to come. It’s almost enough to make me feel sorry for her. Almost.
Yes, yes, yes, Stella – you’re spot-on in every department. I think it’s interesting that we construct a narrative which suits our underlying ideology (straight / royalist / whatever), so we structure a wedding as an ending, and a royal wedding as the best kind of all.
Good luck with the deadline.
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Great post Stella. Wouldn’t it be gr8 if we really applauded women’s achievements and didn’t measure them by the income/status of the men they marry. This is 2011 not 1950’s. Or is it?
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Well yes, up to a point . . . I suppose you’d have to put me into the curmudgeonly camp. I think you’re wrong about people not believing in the royals being supposedly better than us. Fed by their tabloids and moronic news bulletins there is still a significant section of the population that thinks they are.
And like you say about the money – I hate the fact that I’m supposed to pay for the wedding of two rich posh people I couldn’t care less about. Shouldn’t we have put that to a referendum? All those who want to pay say yes, the others say no? No? Like you, I’d rather my money went on libraries. And as for street parties . . . clearly you haven’t met my neighbours.
Told you I was in the curmudgeonly camp. Sorry, but the whole thing – simple-minded deference, pageantry, pomposity, flag-waving peasants and fake bonhomie – makes me want to vomit. It’s like the Daily Mail’s perfect day out.
And I’ll be working too. And studiously ignoring the whole thing.
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You are not a curmudgeon but a responsible human being who doesn’t believe in fairy tales and is merely voicing what a lot of people think. This wedding perpetuates hierarchy, privilege, conservatism…and I’ll have to stop now before I really begin to rant!
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Frankly, although I am no fan of the Royals, I quite enjoy the tradition, the pomp, the circumstance and the entire nation getting together to have a celebration. It makes a change from all the horrors going on in the world, the recession and general misery around us. Like it or not, most women have been brought up having had the story of Cinderella spoon fed to us since we could speak. And, like it or not, I think we’d all be lying if we didn’t feel there is something magical in two people, with very different upbringings, falling in love. And while I’m against the idea of people being born into privilege, this wedding has boosted the income of many people at a time when they need it most. In my view the 75p it cost each of us is money I don’t mind spending.
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Yes, I quite like pageant and spectacle too. But these two young people are certainly not from different backgrounds, she just happened not to have a title. Until today. And I really enjoyed the buzz on London streets the night before, and I like seeing neighbours partying together, and I’m even a little bit interested in hats and nice frocks … but that attitude, the feeling of most people having a pleasant time on a day off should certainly not be mistaken for monarchism or approval of an outdated system of heredity, or pretending that there aren’t an awful lot of things wrong with our current system. I’m all for street parties and fly pasts, but I’m more keen on funding the NHS and free education for all. Also, nice though it is to see happy couples, and as someone who’s been happily coupled for 21 years, there are a whole lot of single people made to feel less than valued by our society’s constant emphasis on the couple. I watched it, I enjoyed the Twitter comments pro and con, then I went back to work. No bank holidays for freelancers.
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The sacred King aspect of royalty is ingrained into society. Yes, it is anachronistic and should really world in a rational world, but who is to say that the world is logical? President Thatcher or President Blair?
Perhaps we should all be marching on Syria where people are being murdered in cold blood. Also I would like to know about the person arrested for sexual assault in the crowd on the day.
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