Sometimes I get very tired of all the working, always.
Tomorrow I leave home very early to run two Fun Palaces workshops in Taunton, coming home in the evening and yes, doing writing work on the train. (I’m doing a great deal of writing work on trains right now, reminding myself that Chekhov and Dostoyevsky both had full time jobs and maybe it will actually help …)
And SOMETIMES, esp around our ideas to do with cultural access, democratisation of culture, culture ‘for/by/with all’ (instead of just the hierarchical ‘for all’) I feel like we are constantly pushing giant boulders uphill and getting the smallest of lip service support from the Big Boys with the £s, just to shut us up, and not because they believe in the change we hope to make. (Actually I’m fairly certain this is exactly what is happening, but we keep on anyway.)
Then tonight I saw Wendy Richardson’s Joan documentary In The Company of Joan and I was reassured that it ISN’T easy, and the Big Boys (and Big Girls) DON’T want change, and it suits the people at the top very much to keep the real power (the power to do, to create, to make change) in the hands of the few – and ’twas ever thus.
And it made me feel GREAT about what we’re trying to achieve with Fun Palaces – a genuine redistribution of the cultural hierarchy, which affects everything (because culture = all arts & all sciences = everything), and a genuine belief in the genius in everyone, and it reminded me that Fun Palaces are part of a continuum. And as a part of a continuum, it doesn’t matter if it’s tiring or hard, or even if it sometimes feels insoluble, impossible, it just matters that we each do the work, however we can.
In the film, Philip Hedley quotes Joan’s phrase : “I built my life on the rock of change.” I love that phrase. I love the instability of it, the accepting and welcoming of change, the hope of change.