Yes, the recent (ish) rise in menopausal voices is great. About time. Much needed.
But where are the postmenopausal voices? Why are we not asking those who have been through menopause how it was for them, what they did to support themselves through the transition, and how it is now?

Why are we not hearing from the (many) who say they are thriving in postmenopause – like those in my research who report that they feel more themselves, happier in their bodies, more at ease with who they are, less likely to sit back and shut up?

What’s going on that the voices of those in their late 50s, 60s, and 70s aren’t being heard?
Could it be ageism? Could it be that we are colluding with both societal and our own internalized ageism that suggests we are past it, washed up, over the hill (ETC!) once we’re postmenopausal? Could it be that the possibilities for monetising menopause drop off when we listen to older voices telling us they’re doing ok? (Surely not?!)

There is plenty of research suggesting that in postmenopause there is a new thriving, more possibility. No, it won’t last forever, many of us will find that our bodies need support as we age, it will take more effort to stay well – change will keep happening. It always does.

And even so, there are many who say they find postmenopause the most hopeful time of their lives. The women in my postmenopause research certainly did, including and perhaps especially those who struggled during menopause. These voices are not speaking against the growing tide of demand for more support in menopause, but they are sharing the possibilities after the transition. 
Let’s not be ageist. Let’s listen to them. 

Here are some of the hopeful things my research participants* said about their lives in postmenopause:

Loving our bodies
Even though my body’s changed with menopause, I suppose I’m like two dress sizes bigger than I was, but I’ve still got a really nice body. And it’s like become voluptuous, more voluptuous, and I’ve got like real tits for the first time.  (Gina)

Reviving sexuality and intimacy
I didn’t expect that I would become sexually interested again or that there would be opportunities to do anything about that. Because that’s part of the image of older women, isn’t it? That a) they’re not interested in sex and b) even if they were, who would want them? Well, it turns out, other women in their sixties. Mainly, but not exclusively. (Grace)

After coping comes joy
At the moment to be me is really positive. And much more positive than it was when I had menopausal symptoms, because at the time I would have been coping. And I think that’s part of why is that it’s nice to be me now. It’s a bit like when I get ill, once I get better, I get a surge of energy, almost like I’m better than I was before I was ill. Because the joy of being better is quite uplifting. (Dora)

Finding the calm centre
What’s been interesting, dealing with what I’ve dealt with in this period, what my boys have needed more than anything is for me to be like a calm rock and that is what postmenopause gives me. I can be so much calmer, more sensible. I think I’ve always been a generous mum, but not in the same way, I can really step out of my shit and be right there. (Élina)

Being the role model
There weren’t the role models of being disruptive and agitating and activism so much. Somebody said to me, “Well you start doing it then.” And I went, “Oh, OK, be the change you want to be, yeah. Exactly.” (Maggie)

*Aged 55-69, my participants are Black, white/Creole, Welsh British, White, lesbian, queer, bi, straight, heterosexual, disabled, non-disabled, working class, middle class, mothers, not-mothers, stepmothers, married, partnered, single.

If you’re interested in exploring your postmenopausal possibilities and live in or near Peckham/south London, I’m running a workshop in dreaming our creative postmenopause on May 8th at Peckham Levels. Booking here.