Dear Commonwealth,
It’s great you’ve now allowed the daughters of the titled to inherit that title. Vital stuff, and really important for the 99.9% of women for whom titles are irrelevant, but hey, at least it’s a step in the right direction, toward equal rights for women. Better than nothing. Just. And it certainly underlines the word ‘wealth’ in the name on the tin.
Now, if you could just get on to the 39 Commonwealth countries where being gay is illegal, we might actually have something we can all be proud of from this meeting?
Yours sincerely, a citizen of two Commonwealth countries.

Ooh look, here’s a petition to that effect.