In a year, a week, two days of dead icons, I have such gratitude for Carrie Fisher’s life.

As well as her humour and FUCK OFF in reference to aging and body shaming, her frankness about mental illness (with even more humour), and her generally all-round being candid and honest, the empowering of ‘Princess’ might be partly why so many women my age are so moved. It’s certainly why I am.

I started my childhood with Disney stick figures who cleaned house and waited for their prince to come (one day) and ended it with a woman who fought back as General.

And because of our much-maligned celeb culture, we actually knew that the actor and writer playing the leader WAS kick-ass. She wasn’t just acting hero. She was BEING hero. She stumbled, she found the gold, she brought it home and the stumbling (not the gold) helped us grow too.  (This was also George Michael’s gift.)

We don’t need heroes because they win, we need them because they can be honest about losing.

I wish for more of these genuine, human, flawed, open role models for our kids – and for all of us as we age.