My year of Saying Yes to Saying No hasn’t gone hugely well so far, I’ve said far more yeses (as usual) than I wanted to and have done/am doing far more than I want to be doing, but I had a great realisation a while back … every time I feel too pushed and pulled and upset and harried because I’m doing too much and doing things I feel I OUGHT to do rather than WANT to do, I can remember that feeling, note it, and use it to build my resilience in saying no to the next thing I don’t want to do.
Some months ago I agreed to do a Thing I didn’t really want to do but was persuaded to do by :
a) the person asking me assuring me it wasn’t really that much work (not true, not at all true)
b) the fact that I was flattered/surprised/delighted to be asked (given my all-too-prevalent experience of imposter syndrome, this one happens way too often)
c) my interest in what the thing would involve.
Basically, the only one of those three I should have paid attention to is the last one. Predictably, the Thing has taken way more work than I have time for and way more work than it’s paying me for.
And it’s also brought me ever such a little bit closer to doing, more often, what I WANT to do. Silver linings …
nb – yes, the 55 Joys have gone quiet for a bit. I’ve been too busy (doing lots of things I do want to do, and some I don’t want to do, and one I very much wanted to do – holiday!), but there are a few on the way – when I get time to write them up!